The emotional labor of the holidays feels endless, especially for women.

This content originated on the HuffPost by Ariana DiValentino.

It’s the invisible work of keeping everyone comfortable and happy—a labor that spikes during this season of joy and giving. There are parties to plan, gifts to buy, traditions to uphold, and logistics to manage. Even when some tasks are delegated, the majority of the mental and physical workload still falls on women.

In today’s world, this pressure can easily transform into perfectionism. Scrolling through social media can make it look and feel like everyone else is creating a more magical, perfectly curated holiday. Experts warn against this, noting that perfectionism can exacerbate anxiety, depression, and burnout. The curated lives on Instagram only fuel the inner critic, but stepping away from the scroll and reevaluating priorities can help.

A key part of that reevaluation is recognizing that not all the pressure comes from ourselves. Social expectations and long-standing gender roles play their part. While holiday hosting is often framed as an act of love, it’s also a labor-intensive role that disproportionately falls to women. From planning and cooking to cleaning and gift-giving, women often carry the emotional and logistical burden for their families. This isn’t just about kitchen skills; it’s about deeply ingrained societal norms.

Hosting is often driven by a genuine love for family, friends, and tradition. But this love can easily tip into obligation, leaving hosts feeling resentful when their efforts go unnoticed or unreciprocated.

Finding balance requires more than just shifting the workload; it’s about adjusting expectations and giving ourselves grace. Hosting doesn’t have to mean perfection. If the napkins are mismatched or the menu isn’t Pinterest-worthy, the world won’t end. And often, the people we’re hosting care more about being together than about the details we obsess over.

Still, it helps to ask for support. Delegating isn’t always easy—it can feel like more work to explain what needs to be done than to just do it. But enlisting help, such as a potluck system, lightens the load and makes hosting feel less isolating.

Ultimately, the holidays aren’t about creating a flawless event; they’re about connection. Letting go of perfectionism and sharing responsibilities can make the season more joyful for everyone—especially for the ones trying so hard to make it magical.

Head over to the HuffPost and get all the data and quotes from Ariana DiValentino.